Japanese Marriage Bra

Triumph international, the same guys who came up with the eminently practical Chopstick Bra, have channeled their proudly insincere energies into fake-solving Japan's declining marriage rate. Behold... The Marriage Hunting Bra.

The garment's described objective is to allow marriage-minded women to essentially wear their ambitions, with a chest-mounted countdown clock (to what?) , pen and seal holster (for signing marriage contracts), and a ring receptacle that beeps "The Wedding March" when filled.

The whole assemblage looks like it would attract more unsolicited boob-touches than marriage proposals, but boob-touching is a known precursor to matrimony. Fact. In other news, somewhere in a quiet suburb of Tokyo, a retired feminism professor just swallowed a gun.